Missing Big A

Life is good Alhamdulillah what with the new baby and all. I think I've adjusted with Adil's schedule..more or less :p I admit sometimes I do get the occasional panda eyes from tending to Little A in the wee hours of the morning. But Alhamdulillah it's not that often. Little A's a peaceful quiet baby Alhamdulillah.

On the other hand, I'm missing Aqil badly. My parents came to visit earlier and they took Aqil for the night to sleepover at Bangi. For the 25 months 3 weeks of his life, Aqil has never spent the night without at least one of his parents around. I've never had to separate from him during the nights ever before this. Well..except last 2 weeks while I was in hospital after delivering Adil. At that time it had to be done because takkan nak suruh Aqil tido kat hospital pulak kan...kesian je die nanti. Besides, I was too drowsy and in pain that I didn't have the time to bersedih-sedih. Plus, H was looking after him so I know that he'll be ok at home with his Abah. He slept with H for 2 nights without me and luckily I was discharged on the 3rd day and get to go back to home sweet home.

And now, as I am typing this, Aqil is in Bangi with his grandparents and aunties. He was so excited to get to follow them back tadi. Mama yang sedih tau. H macam takde perasaan sangat. When I voiced out my kesedihan to him, he said "Aqil's a big boy now. You have to let him go. Macam citer Nemo tu (Aqil's favourite cartoon at the moment)." Huhu. Yelaa..I know he's a big boy and I have to let him go some time or other. But does it have to be now?? Huhu.

Sedih :(

Missing Big A...my big baby Aqil. Although he's an abang now...he'll always be my little baby. 

Baby is here!

Alhamdulillah...all is well.

So much to write about.

So much to let out.

So much on my mind.

Huuuuuuuuuuuuu~~~

*deep breaths*

Meanwhile.....

Welcome to the world baby Adil :)

Assalamualaikum

Fresh from the oven..pic taken by H in the OT.

38 weeks and MRI scan

I have been regularly updating my blog on my pregnancy almost every week now. Nampak sangat takde kerje. Huhu. Anyway..went for weekly checkup with Dr Ariza and jengjengjeng...the baby is now 3.8kg. Besar woo!~ Since I've been trying to go for normal delivery, doctor advised me to be induced since I don't have the signs for labour yet takot the baby will get biggie by the day. Ooohh...takot ok. Kesakitan mase kene induce dulu terngiang-ngiang di kepale. Huhu. Anyway, before that doctor suruh buat MRI for pelvic scan to see if my pelvic bone is suitable to have vaginal birth after caesarian (VBAC).

MRI scanner machine @ tunnel machine thingy

My first experience buat MRI scan. I was a bit nervous. I always see in movies where claustrophobic people takot nak kne buat MRI scan kene masuk keluar balek and redo the scan. I consider myself as quite berani la jugak (ehem :p) in matters like these. Alhamdulillah I don't have a fear for heights or confined spaces..but horror movies ke or when it comes to hantu-hantus....I lemah sikit. Huhu. Anyway..at first I thought as they were only going to scan the pelvic area...I don't need to masuk yang machine macam tunnel tu. I saw on TV that there's also another machine yang macam donut...only a ring je..to do scans and stuff. I thought I was going to have that one done on me. But tettt..wrong. I get to go into the tunnel machine thingy. Bile cerita kat Angah baru tau yang the donut machine tu CT scan rupenye. Hohoh. MRI stands for magnetic resonance imaging and is apparently not harmful for the baby. Nak tau difference between MRI and CT please click here. I just browsed je bace sikit..malas nak amek tau sangat :p

CT scan @ donut machine

Mase nak masuk to I have to tanggal all metal pieces..brooches..watch and stuff. Naseb baek I don't have any metal pieces on my clothing. So then I had to lie down as in baring terlantar. Being heavily pregnant ni, dah lame I tak baring macam tu on my back. Sakit belakang la kan. I asked the nurse/attendant will it take long and she said around 30min and that I cannot gerak-gerak sangat. If possible limit my movements la while in there or else nanti cannot get good image. Dalam hati..."30mins? Lamenyee~ Boleh ke tak gerak-gerak? Dengan saket belakangnye lagi nanti. Habeslaaa~" Anyway, she was nice and help propped some pillows for my back because she saw I was not comfortable. Later, she pasangkan headphones and even asked which radio station I wanted to listen to because she said the machine will be kind of noisy. I said FlyFM and even asked her if I could sleep or not in there. She said if I sleep all the better. Haha.

So then the stretcher/bed thingy pon started to gerak-gerak masuk dalam tunnel tu. I was bracing myself for 30mins of uncomfortableness. Once my whole body dah masuk inside the tunnel thingy tu...startla bunyi-bunyi bising...tet tet..tung tung...dong dong..beep beep..and segala macam la bunyi. I couldn't get to quite hear the radio over that noise. So there I was, staring at the (tunnel) ceiling takot if suddenly I become claustrophobic ke apa and tengah fikir kalau nak keluar macam mana..the attendant tadi takde bagi panic button to press if I wanted to get out. Huhu. I forgot to ask tadi. I let my thoughts drift and was just trying to get myself to close my eyes and maybe take a  nap when suddenly the stretcher/bed tu pon started to move keluar. Dalam hati..I was like "Alamak...tergerak banyak ke tadi? Rase tak sampai 5mins pon." When I saw the attendant she said "All done." I told her "Eh..done already? I thought you said 30mins. But 5mins pon tak sampai kan?" And then she said "15seconds je sebenanye nak mapping image." And I was like laaa...buat penat je nak cuak-cuak tadi nak brace myself for 30mins staying motionless. Haha.

So that was my MRI experience. A bit jakun la jugak. The results: my pelvic is OK. Cukup luas. Can go for normal delivery. My next appointment is next Monday. Let's see how it goes. If baby OK and tak besar sangat..I'll be induced by next week. If baby is big..have to go for elective c-section. InshaAllah...by next week...baby dah pon keluar..maybe by Tues or Wed. At the back of my mind I was secretly kind of hoping that I would have to go for caesar because pelvic tak compatible ke ape. Takot nak rase saket but at the same time ade hati try deliver normal. Huhu. But Allah knows best. Semoga dipermudahkan urusan bersalin. Ameen~

Harga MRI scan (pelvic) at Ampang Puteri costs RM200. I thought it would be quite pricey since I heard from my mom, her friend buat ranging from RM400-RM800 kat tempat lain. Alhamdulillah tak mahal sangat. Dahla semua kena bayar sendiri. Huhu. Thought I would like to share this experience with anyone yang google about MRI scan because I know I have and I didn't find much info. Please excuse the terms used here...aka..donut machine and tunnel machine thingy...I'm not a medic student :p Any doctors..person with medical background sure gelak bace entry ni kan? Huuhuu~

How I Met Your Father (Part 3)

continued .....

After I sent him the email, it took quite a while for him to get back to me. It was Ramadhan by then, and from there things just started to roll in motion. I was still studying. It was my final semester. We started getting to know each other. It was quite low key. Not many knew about what was going on. Faiz knew of course because she was my roommate back in college. I finished uni in November and then started my first job that month. By early 2009 we decided to get married. There was like kind of a merisik ceromony and it was decided that we would tie the knot in July as Angah and Dalila would be back for their summer hols.

All in all, it took me for about a few months only for me to decide that he was the one that was going to be my husband. I was intrigued by his thoughts, his humour, his background and personality that made me consider marriage. It was not all a lovey dovey affair as we have had our disputes back then (and still now :p). There are some things that I don't quite fancy about him but hey..who is perfect right. We all have our flaws. Alhamdulillah, the good things about him overshadows his flaws. I also love the way how he made (and still makes) me feel :P

Love you H~

As this was my first relationship ever, he was very patient with me. Bila I merajuk he pujuk. When I expect something from him but die macam buat tak tau je and then I got upset he would calm me down. To think back balek, kelakar je. I have no prior relationship experience what so ever so of coursela I don't what to expect from all of this relationship thingy. Everyone was a bit surprised because I yang tak pernah couple-couple ada boyfriend ni tiba-tiba dah nak kawen dah. I was a bit afraid at first, tak tau if I made the right choice or not by thinking of marriage. I mean hey..it's a BIG step ok. But Alhamdulillah, with lots of doa Allah has made me see clearer to choose the path that I chose back then.

Although we still argue and have our differences...I love you H. Although your flaws sometimes irk me ever so much, sometimes I see that we complement each other in ways that I never thought would work. Indeed Allah has His ways and indeed jodoh itu is in His hands. Who are we to know our jodoh. Alhamdulillah for giving me the perfect husband if not perfect but perfect for me. May our marriage stay strong and lasts till jannah with all the trials and tribulations that have been surrounding us lately InshaAllah. Love you H~

Gambar mude-mudi mase honeymoon :p

So that kids, is how I met your father.   :)

--- THE END ---

How I Met Your Father (Part 2)

continued......

They had a canopy outside their front yard and invited us to sit down and eat. As it was the second house, we arrived quite late and there were not much guests around. Everything pon macam dah nak kemas-kemas.  We got acquainted with Dalila's mom and had small talk for a while. It seemed that my name is the same as Dalila's first sister plus we went to the same uni together. Of course she has graduated by then but then it turns out that all of her family went to UIA. Anyway, as we were talking all of a sudden along came this tall guy who apparently was Dalila's brother. He wore a black shirt and smiled a lot. Quite smart I must say. He came bringing the plates. He invited us to eat and from what I remembered  most was he introduced himself using his full name...as in Ahmad Zulhilmi bin Assanah. Haha. A bit skema as I never met anyone who introduced himself using his fullname like that. Anyway..that was that...only a brief encounter. We got back to eating and my sister and friends got talking as I listened in.

At this time, people were already gathering inside the house to baca Yassin and we were like the only few ones outside. I did a quick sweep and saw the brother inside the house too. Haha. Anyway, after they finished we also excused ourselves. Salam-salam sikit dengan semua orang..tengok baby sikit and then walked back to the car. Dalila walked us to the car and then the brother came along. Die pon nak babai-babai rupenye. Before we got in the car, he asked for my number. Apekah? I don't know how people get people's phone numbers but so direct macam ni ke? Macam kind of sleazy pon ade jugak. So I pon tak layan and tak bagi but he wouldn't give up. Angah and her friends dah pandang-pandang semacam. Eeeee~ So because I wouldn't give him my number he gave me his business card. So I pon took it and just wanted to speed off quickly as I can. So that was that. In the car Angah dah gelak-gelak dah and I was like..."Eeee u ni. Manela I nak bagi number I kat siape-siape macamtu je." Huhu. So then we sent Angah's friend back to Subang and then went back home.

That night...jengjengjeng...I kept on playing the scene petang tadi inside my head. Macam I tak boleh nak get  it out of my head. Dalam hati macam nak bagi je number tapi takkanla nak bagi je macamtu. So while I was rolling around in bed with the laptop in front of me sambil belek-belek his biz card after relating the whole ordeal to Faiz I decided that I would email him. Haha. That was the time that I felt something that was indescribable. Something at the back of my mind that made me want to act because by not doing anything I would know that I would regret it. Like a "Now or Never" feeling you know. Seriously. Why I felt like that pon I don't know. Maybe ini lah yang dikatakan jodoh :p

So anyway, I sent him an email. Reading back the email rasa macam entah apa-apa je. Haha. Here's the attachment where I attached him my so-called-biz-card. Lame I know. Huhu.

To be continued.....