Take 5

I'm feeling a bit down. Have been studying hard but it seems like there's no progress. So much to do. Aaahh~ Stressed~ It reminds me of the good old studying days. I miss those days. Studying keeps your mind alert, fresh and sharp. I think my mind is getting a wee bit rusty. Is it because of the age factor? Am I showing signs that I'm going old? Eeeekk~ 

Must not give up. Must keep on going Una~ Haiihh. It's tiring when I get my brains going in high gear. It's just not as before la. I just need to take a break from it all and vent out here a bit :p

It's not like I haven't done anything to stimulate my brains all these while. I guess by playing too much Scrabble and Bookworm doesn't help as much as I would have hoped...hehe :p 

My all time favourite~

I've also read somewhere that breastfeeding also plays a part in mom's not being as 'sharp' as before. I read that by breastfeeding, the baby takes most of the nutrients from their mothers. The baby also takes this element (I forgot what it is) that is needed to form and build the synapses in the baby's brain which is rapidly developing and growing in the first few months. That's why some breastfeeding mom's, they tend to feel forgetful and sometimes even encounter those bimbo-ish moments. I guess that and also the fact of trying to cope with the craziness of having a baby around. Huhu. But anything for the baby kan? I guess every mom wants the best for their babies. So to top it off, it's good to have that daily dose of fish oil which is filled with omega and good for brain development. I've been taking Blackmore's Omega Memo from when I started out breastfeeding. It has higher DHA compared to EPA. DHA is good for the brains whiles EPA is good for the heart (and all this while i thought it was more or less the same :p).

Besides from the Omega Memo, I've also been taking calcium supplement (because I'm lactose intolerant) and Vitamin C to make my milk more nutritious for Aqil. I'm picky when it comes to food (NOT a good trait) and need to take supplements to top up where I lack. Huhu.

I've also been trying to get Aqil to drink Scott's Emulsion to boost up his immune system but it seems that he's not too keen on taking it :( I bought the Orange Flavoured one and not the Original one pon die tak nak jugak. Aqil memang tak suke makan ubat. Everytime nak bagi Aqil his meds, nanti die muntahkan balek. There's only like 10% chance that when bagi ubat, he'll keep it down without a fuss. Macam mana eh nak bagi budak makan ubat? Huhu. I haven't tried fish oil yang liquid selalu makan yang capsules je and was quite surprised to find it delicious. Hoho. No wonder Hilmi has offered to finish up the bottle since Aqil won't take it. Sedap rupenye :p

On another note, since I have been taking Fenugreek for about a week now, Alhamdulillah my milk supply has gradually increased. Now I can pump enough milk for Aqil's nursery and even some left for the next day. I know it's not like back then when I had a freezer full of milk supply but I take what I can. Now kejap je my boobs dah full. Baru je pump a few hours back and now have to pump lagi. I can't be picky. Beggars can't be choosers~ 

Breastpump Review

I've been using Medela Swing for the past year now. And so far it hasn't disappointed me one bit. So here's a little review on the breastpump's that I've used and the one that's on my wishlist in the future. Hehe :p

Medela Mini-E

This pump is okay for an electronic pump. The downside, like I've said before is the noise. It makes a terribly noisy sound..like a lawn mower. The suction is okay, the Swing's suction is better. The breastshield is quite hard..plastic. Have to provide 4 AA batteries if you're using it on the go (I usually use it in the car).

Medela Mini-E. Bought at Mom's Care, Ampang Point for RM469.

Medela Swing

Better than the Mini-E. Suction is better. Has two suction modes, stimulation phase to stimulate let-down reflex and then the expression phase where the pump moves to slower speed as the milk begin to flow. Much much quieter than the Mini-E. Has SoftFit breastshields (I swear by this...not too hard on the breasts) for massaging comfort. Uses 4 AA batteries for on the go.

Medela Swing. Bought at First Few Years, The Curve for RM669.

Pureen Manual Breastpump

I bought this because I left my pumping bag at home when I balek kampung for Hari Raya last year. Huhu. Eventhough I had Aqil with me, I still had bengkak susu because Aqil didn't drink much. Had to buy a pump jugak..didn't succeed much with expressing it by hand. 

Pureen Manual Breastpump. Bought at JJ Bandaran Melaka for about RM50.

My first time using a manual pump. I had trouble with it. Tangan jadi lenguh. Just used it twice kot. It took like 30mins to get about 3-4oz. Whereas if I use the Swing, I can get 15oz. The breastshield is plastic, keras. I thought that it would be silent, but it still makes a squishy noise when I pump. But I guess this pump will help tone your arms kot, die punye concept same macam hand exersice thingamajig macam kat bawah ni :p

 

Medela Freestyle

This one here is on my wishlist bile ada rezeki for adik Aqil nanti.

Medela Freestyle. Costs from around RM1500. There are good deals if you buy online..have to survey. In stores, the cheapest I've come across is at First Few Years, The Curve for RM1699.

It's wonderful features include:

• Daily use · double pump · electric (double pump so it will cut in half your pumping time)
• True pumping mobility with hands-free option. (I think this is one of the most convenient features in a pump..imagine, you can do a whole lot because its hands-free)
• Rechargeable battery and ultra-lightweight motor. Optional 12V vehicle lighter adapter available. (No need for AA batteries anymore, die ade rechargeable batteries mcm camera punye tu)
• Easy interaction with digital display, memory, timer and backlight.
• More milk in less time with 2-Phase Expression® technology when pumping at Maximum Comfort Vacuum™.
• Everything mom needs in a convenient bag - perfect for active moms.
• Use hands-free with most top-flap nursing bras including Medela nursing bras and camisoles.
• Double pumping kit features SoftFit™ breastshields for massaging comfort.

**drools**

Ahh..someday Inshaallah~ Hehe.

There are also many other models of breastpumps in the market, Avent, Spectra and whatnot. I haven't tried Avent's breastpump so I'm a bit biased with Medela and from what I read I think Medela is the best :p Prior to buying a breastpump I guess you should need to do some research first and see which one will suits you the most. Here are some tips on buying a breastpump:

1. Choose a breastpump that best suit your needs. If you're a stay at home mom, chances are you don't need a high-end electric pump because your baby will be with you most of the time. Instead you may want to opt for a manual pump which is cheaper in price.
2. Read up reviews and do your research on the internet on the breastpumps that are in the market and that you intend to buy. Ask around friends that has been using that particular pump that you are eying on.
3. Ask many questions about the breastpump before purchase. Get the sales assistant to show you how to operate the pump (hear for any noises..whether its loud or not :p). Ask whether the pump has a warranty or not. Sometimes, the motor can have some problems after a while and its good to know that there is a warranty handy.
4. And lastly, buy within your means and don't splurge.

Happy pumping ladies~

Pumping Working Mom

Breastfeeding for a working mom could be a bit distracting and time consuming. For me, I had to pump 3 times a day. Had to wake up extra early to pump once before going to work. Then once again at work and then another one before going in for bed. It takes about 30-45mins for a pumping session. At work, I usually pump after lunch, around 2.30pm and then solat. I would be like MIA for about an hour or so. Huhu. Around 3.30pm I pon muncul balek kat office. Buat-buat keje sket and then opppss..dah nak kene balek dah. That was my routine until Aqil was about 10months. Now I only pump like once (rarely twice) a day and the pumping sessions are like short..only 15mins or so.

Back then, I can get like 12oz of milk per pumping session, 3 times a day. That means around 36oz of milk per day. Aqil only needed 10-12oz of milk for nursery. You can imagine la I had excess. My freezer was full..all the storage bottles were used up. I had plenty of milk. But now, I really have to struggle to even get 10oz per day. And now since Aqil's a bit bigger he needs about 14oz at nursery. Haiihhh.

Since I sit at a cubicle and not have my own room, I had to go pump at a small room inside the kilang's clinic. It's a small room, meant for nursing mothers. Has a chair, power supply and a mini fridge to keep BM. Good thing its a mother-friendly-workplace. Usually I do a bit of reading while pumping...one time, I even had a gossip session with Nad in here while I pump. Hehe.

Fridge yang buruk tetapi banyak berjase :p

I mentioned in my previous post that I had the Medela Mini-E. For me it was an okay pump la except for the sound. It sounded like a motorboat or even a lawn mower. Man..that pump was noisy and I mean very very noisy. Before going back to work from my maternity leave, I decided to buy another pump. After a few surveys, I bought the Medela Swing. Wanted the Medela Freestyle but it costs far too much (RM1600+) for a breastpump. T_T  Let's see la..if ada rezeki beli for the next round plak..hehe.

My Medela Swing yang banyak berjasa~

So before going to work, I have to pack:

1. pump
2. extra bottles (around 4 or 5 4oz bottles)
3. marker and masking tape (to label the bottles)
4. power cord
5. chargeable batteries (just in case need to use it somewhere without power supply)
6. cooler bag

I put them all in my 'Pump Bag'. So I bawak my laptop bag and my Pump Bag. Dah tak bawak my handbag dah since I selalu kena tegur dengan pakcik-pakcik tanya why I bawak banyak sangat bag, nak balek kampung ke..lalala. Biar jela kan nak bawak berapa banyak bag pon. Diorang guys tak payah bawak bag pon if tak bawak laptop home. Senang je. Huhu.

I had all kinds of challenges while breastfeeding. But I keep on at it for the sake of the baby. Only NOW i know why syurga di bawah tapak kaki ibu. Its not like kita tak tahu how much our mothers have done for us..how much they sacrificed to take care of us..but you really wont know unless you have the first hand experience. Trust me. Thank you Mama for all that you've done~

The Breastfeeding Challenge

I came across a few hurdles and challenges along the way while breastfeeding. The first day I had Aqil, I tried my first attempt to BF. Being a first time mom and all, unfortunately it wasn't a success. I didn't get Aqil to latch on properly. The nurses had to teach and guide me a few times. I read brochures and stuff on breastfeeding but theory and practical is way way different. Aqil only got a little bit of milk for like maybe a few seconds and then dah tak dapat dah. And then had to call the nurse to show how to BF properly, once die tunjuk and Aqil dpt minum she left and then when I moved sikit ke terlari alignment sket...susah nk masuk balek and continue. Haiihhh. Those first few days were challenging and I was a bit depressed since tak pandai nak BF. The nurses told me to hand express or pump milk and then give it to the baby in a tiny cup (to avoid nipple confusion).

I took about nearly 2 weeks to get the hang of breastfeeding. I was so grateful when I finally got the hang of it. Two weeks to get the hang of it but about 2 months to really master all the tricks and techniques. To master all the positions, it took about 6  months kot. Huhu. But Alhamdulillah, I managed to overcome that hurdle. I thought Aqil didn't know how to suck or latch on properly padahal it was me who got the angles all wrong. Haiihh. This obstacle passed, hopefully I won't have any problems with anak-anak yang seterusnya.

Back then, I also didn't know that your breasts could get engorged. And when it does...MY GOD it hurts!! To think back, I was so naive. I didn't know that if you don't empty your milk about the same rate as when you produce, the milk ducts can get clogged and the breasts will get engorged. I thought die macam paip...when baby minum, die turn on, when baby tak minum die turn off la. I didn't know that you cant control the kepala paip tu. Huhu. And I was one of the fortunate mothers who had plenty of milk supply. I just couldn't get it out as fast as I had it in because of my  BF techniques and latching problem above. Imagine my surprise, when the first night tu I saket because of bengkak susu. I asked my mom in despair, why didn't she ever mention about this. before...about that it could get engorged and stuff, she looked at me with muke yang kesiankan anak die and thought that I already knew about this beforehand. I didn't know how I could miss this part out and not forsee it coming. I never came across it in books I was reading or even websites (maybe I was scimping through?) Bad days I tell you. I would never want to wish it upon anyone else. Sakettt~

Had to go to the hospital's nursery and had a nurse show me how to hand express milk. Lega la sikit. I'm glad that the hospital was breastfeeding friendly. Gained lots of advice from the nurses. Told my mom that I needed a breastpump. I thought I could put off buying it and only need it when I go back to work. But as circumstances shows, I needed it pronto~

Medela Mini Electric Breast Pump

My mom bought me a Medela Mini-E pump that night jugak. Thank you mama. That was my first pump and it helped me a LOT. It was so easy to pump milk and not let it get engorged. The first few days were spent with pumping. Aqil was fed on and off. Had to keep on trying and trying many many many times to breastfeed him for a session. Sangat penat. Aqil dapat minum sekejap..terlepas..and then kene keep on trying and trying lagi sampai dapat balek. Haiihh. If tak dapat jugak just bagi Aqil minum through the cup. Kesian je tengok die tak dapat nak breastfeed fully. Huhu.

I felt like a terrible mom. Breastfeeding should come naturally to all moms kan patutnye? Kata dah jadi emak...patut pandaila. Haihh. What more stress from people who kept giving this advice la and that advice and then looking on while I tried to breastfeed. Stress okay~ Maybe because of the added stress, lagila tak boley-boley nak menyusu. Ideally, you should BF in a peaceful state of mind...preferably somewhere quiet without any distractions. Breastfeeding should be a zen-like experience where the mom gets to bond with the baby.

I was wayyy off course with breastfeeding. I thought it would be easy breezy. Everyone made it look like it was sooo easy. People say it comes naturally. Thats why I didn't put much thought on this and assumed that I too would find it a piece of cake. Boy was i W.R.O.N.G. Big time!! I never knew breastfeeding would be THIS challenging. And this is only the tip of the iceberg, there were a few bumps and glitches along the way too but that's for another time..I'll write about it later :p

Got MILK?

Aqil is now 1 year and 1 month old. Alhamdulillah, I got to breastfeed him fully..until recently that is. Unfortunately, my silk supply has been lower than usual. Don't know if whether its because I haven't been pumping constantly or whether its because Aqil memang dah besar and my body knows that its time for Aqil to not depend on my milk. Sedeylaa. I couldn't produce enough milk for my baby dah. Huhu. Now I have a tin of soymilk ready at nursery whenever my BM is not enough.

I thought Aqil would be picky since he has been on BM all this while, but kakak nursery tu kata Aqil okay je minum the soymilk. I was quite anxious jugakla nak bagi die susu apa.  I read yang baby ni sometimes memilih susu, some susu kene, some tak kena dengan baby..so have to pilih betul-betul. I don't want to give him cow's milk so decided on soymilk since dulu my mom pon gave Adah that mase kecik. Bought Isomil yang for 1 year and above. I haven't tried giving him the soymilk myself though :p Let's just keep the soymilk for nursery jela ye Aqil? When with mama you can have mama's milk.

 

Before being pregnant lagi, I knew that I wanted to breastfeed my baby exclusively because I know that mother's milk is the best milk ever. Cewwah. Back then I knew that it can boost the baby's immune system and breastmilk die ikut demand and supply and die punye nutrition tu adapts to your baby's needs as they grow. Basically what I knew macam tu jela :p Since my mom also used to BF all her kids, no wonder that I wanted to do the same kan?

Now, because my milk supply is low..it's like kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang.  Sometimes tu I even needed to squeeze in a pumping session before sending Aqil to nursery just to get enough milk for nursery that day. Because  of this, my boobs are also returning back to normal...and I'm glad. It's not as big and as full as after delivery.  I feel like my boobs are mines now and no longer a vending machine. Sometimes I feel like I'm a bit selfish in this way. Huhu.  But although I feel that tiny inkling of a feeling like maybe its time to let Aqil go, I can't go down without a fight kan? I need to do something to increase my milk supply.  People say drinking a lot of water helps increase your milk supply as you need lots of liquid to produce more liquid (milk). I thought of buying Fenugreek herb supplement also la. It can also help milk supply. Will pop into GNC to cari. Tried finding it at Guardian and Watsons but takde. Hope this will help Inshaallah~

 

I tried going to forums to cari 'when is it time to stop pumping milk to your baby?' but macam takde topic on that. I mean if you still have milk supply, takkan still nak kene pump until your baby is 2 years old eh? Is there a certain age or you just know depending on your milk supply tu when to stop? Hurmm~

My Hubby My BFF

Marriage life sure is tricky. Of course nothing is ever easy peasy lemon squeezy right?.

I've known my husband for almost 3 years now. We've been married for nearly 2. Throughout our marriage he has been my BFF. We've shared soo much together. 

I'm thankful I have him as my husband. Of course there are times when his ways or opinion would drive me crazy...don't get me wrong, he has his quirks and I am not fully 'at peace' with all of them...yet :p But at the end of the day he still is my husband, my BFF and I can't imagine life without him. He calms me when I am mad, he put sense in me when I follow my emotions blindly, he guides me when i feel lost, he lends an ear when I have a bad day, he offers a hug when I need it the most. I guess everyone feels like that about their husbands kan? Heeeee :)

Sometimes I know I can be 'difficult'. Intentionally or unintentionally. I am known to be a bit stubborn sometimes...I like to have my own way. Sometime tu saja mengade-ngade nak perhatian suami. Haha. I'm grateful for having a husband who is patient with all my antics, cares about me,  bears with all my silliness and gedikness, pujuks me when I have an 'episode'. I guess nobody really knows how I really am except those closest to me. It's a miracle when life, jodoh and Allah puts 2 people together, crossed their paths and now sharing a life together. Alhamdulillah for the blessings~

I guess other people will never know how deep the intimacy between husbands and wives are. Only the people in the marriage itself yang tahu. I thought that people close to me would know. I guess one of the downsides of marriage is that you are no longer 2 individuals...you tend to become a unit (of course its not like you are joined at the hip or something). This also doesn't apply to evertyhing..as both are still 2 different person altogether. But for instance, lets say someone buat A, B will also terase and somewhat be affected. You can't expect A to just bear it alone and B not feel a thing (but most of the time only B je will terase, whereas A takde apa-apa pon. Hurmm.). I guess a blow to A feels like blow also to B. I thought people closest would know. But its disappointing and upsetting when they don't understand :(

In marriage, there are the ups and of course there are the downs. Sangat rollercoaster ride. I guess to really survive this is by being grounded and have a strong foundation. For us Muslims, being close to Allah plays a big part in adapting and surviving. Not only just for marriage but it can also be applied in life in general. I am still struggling to adapt..to survive...to live..and to juggle all those in betweens. I try to remember not to get too caught up with the world and its distractions. I try to remind myself that there is something bigger that awaits...something much much more than all of this. Of course, I guess like most people, I tend to remember Allah the most when I'm at my lowest, when I am sad, when I need something, when I need help, when I don't know what to do, when I need refuge. I try to remind myself not to think of Him only when in despair but to try and remember Him everyday everywhere. I hope He remembers me too.